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I'm JM Fisher, Writer & Host Of The Weekly Cynic Podcast.

I'm Currently Available For All Projects Relating To Blogging, Articles & Editing.

Sunday, Scoffs And Smirks: Edition 3

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A Newsletter That’s Not A Newsletter…

A Scoffing, Smirking Review Of The Week



Remember, The Future Is Not Human

As Humanity lumbers toward the symbolic, epochal year of 2020, the cult of SCIENCE and TECHNOLOGY continues to imperil the natural order…

In November, the scientific community feigned outraged at a Chinese scientist who engineered himself some designer babies.

Oh, the Moral Conundrums And Implications! They screeched.

The only reason the “scientific community” was so affronted by our dastardly Chinese Scientist, is because they were unable to accomplish such a feat.

SCIENCE does not wrestle with moral profundities, it only cares for the science… that end product that proves science!

In this story, the end product being humans that ain’t human…

But, hey, Boston Dynamics is doing great things by creating Robo-Cops!

“Oh, but, JM! Think about all those people ravaged by GMOs, 5G transmissions, Air and Water Pollution, our fertility will plummet to zero! We will need science to repopulate the Earth! And running, jumping machines are imperfectly perfect! Just think of how we will no longer sacrifice the lives of police officers and soldiers! I, for one, welcome our new Metal Overlords!”

Alright, back to—

“Oh, JM! Think of the children, too! The World we will leave our children!”

You mean a world dominated by synthetic humans and roaming, killer robots? Uh, thanks child-less, retired, feminist literature professor turned activist…

Now, back to the disappearance of our good Doctor…

Since his announcement, He Jiankui has been under Julian Assange like confinement.

Of course, this all a mystery…

Suresuresure…

Mr. Jiankui’s colleagues, business partners and ahem Chinese government officials were all astonished by his experiments!

Suresuresure…

Once again, it’s the tired trope of the scientist: a brilliant, benevolent independent genius working in isolation only to suddenly unveil his discovery to a stunned world!

I have a multi-million, okay, I admit, a multi-billion dollar CERN-grade laboratory in my basement that I just so happened to assemble through Amazon orders. No University, Institute, Foundation, NGO, Wealthy benefactor or Government funding whats-so-ever…

(Yawn)

The Chinese Government and Central Bank have spent billions to erect ghost cities as symbols of their industrial might. So, you don’t think they wanna have a symbol of their scientific might?

Hmmmm…


Accelerating Trends Of Fear In 2019: Foreign Hackers!

Thursday night, in the the dying industry of publishing, foreign hackers “crippled major newspapers.”

According to reports, rampant malware disrupted software and production infrastructure.

At The Los Angeles times, “The hackers were able to disable several crucial software systems which store news stories, photographs and administrative information - which complicated efforts to make the physical plates used to print the papers at The Times' downtown plant.”

No worries.

Just like America’s Government roadways, bridges and tunnels, America’s Corporate Technology Infrastructure is equally porous and budget ravaged! Years of sloppy programming and Millennial IT departments have our digital world secured from foreign invaders!

Yes, The Wealthy, who siphon monies from our government and corporate budgets to enrich themselves, have Swiss bank accounts, lawyers and elaborate, luxurious underground bunkers to withstand future hacks, EMP attacks and transformer explosions

(You know, similar to what happened in Louisiana on Thursday….)

And, remember, those Russian hackers are still lurking!

(Wait… Maybe those Russkies were just American DisInfo Brah’s?)

Either way, I’m sure it’s all just a coincidence, kids!

In 2019, these types of reports will intensify.

We will have all sorts of reputed ATM hacks, sporadic Internet outages, 911 disruptions, flickering Big City lights, and… oh, if the Government Shut Down mopes into, I dunno, late January and February, I gotta believe the EBT system is going to have an “interruption” too.

Stay sane, kiddies…Stay sane.


The Internet Is Rigged, You Delusional Fucks…

Back in my days of Corporate servitude, the MBA’ers had a little maxim, “The Numbers Never Lie!”

Of course, I and my fellow ostracized free-thinkers, those who questioned the gospel of our Corporate Deities, would laugh.

“You wanna know how your precious, newly hired hot shot manager just made those marvelous sales numbers?”

“NO!” Was Regional Management’s resounding chorus.

So, it was amazing this week when former Reddit CEO, Ellen Pao, in a tweet response to a New York Magazine article about Silicon Valley’s phony numbers, admitted everything is fake.

Yup, the facade of Silicon Valley shimmers with rainbows, unicorns and puppy dog kisses, but it’s all Theranos, all the time…

(Oh, isn’t it amazing that the father of Theranos founder, Elizabeth Holmes, was a former Vice President Of Enron?)

From Max Read’s New York Magazine article,

“How much of the internet is fake? Studies generally suggest that, year after year, less than 60 percent of web traffic is human; some years, according to some researchers, a healthy majority of it is bot. For a period of time in 2013, the Times reported this year, a full half of YouTube traffic was “bots masquerading as people,” a portion so high that employees feared an inflection point after which YouTube’s systems for detecting fraudulent traffic would begin to regard bot traffic as real and human traffic as fake. They called this hypothetical event “the Inversion.”

Now, if someone just revealed how many Twitter activists/outraged Millennials were bots, then Corporate America wouldn’t succumb to these phony mob rule boycotts… But, then again, Twitter would have its own Theranos implosion.

And, another good one from Max Read,

“The metrics are fake.

Take something as seemingly simple as how we measure web traffic. Metrics should be the most real thing on the internet: They are countable, trackable, and verifiable, and their existence undergirds the advertising business that drives our biggest social and search platforms. Yet not even Facebook, the world’s greatest data–gathering organization, seems able to produce genuine figures. In October, small advertisers filed suit against the social-media giant, accusing it of covering up, for a year, its significant overstatements of the time users spent watching videos on the platform (by 60 to 80 percent, Facebook says; by 150 to 900 percent, the plaintiffs say). According to an exhaustive list at MarketingLand, over the past two years Facebook has admitted to misreporting the reach of posts on Facebook Pages (in two different ways), the rate at which viewers complete ad videos, the average time spent reading its “Instant Articles,” the amount of referral traffic from Facebook to external websites, the number of views that videos received via Facebook’s mobile site, and the number of video views in Instant Articles.”

Silicon Valley is desperate to keep the charade intact by conjuring viable numbers. They gotta keep the Hedge Funders, Venture Capitalists, Wall Street’ers, Pension Funders, Influencers, Thought-Leaders and TedTalk’ers addicted to their business, because if not…

Ah, The Truth.

Zerohedge’s breakdown of Max Read’s article,

“The New York Magazine article by Max Read goes much deeper, however, asserting; "The people are fake" , "The businesses are fake" , "The content is fake" , "Our politics are fake," and finally "We ourselves are fake.”

This is what happens when economies move from producing the tangible to the virtual…

This is what happens when creating becomes soulless, derivative, listicle clickbait content…

(And, accelerates trends of #FakeNews…)

And, rigging the numbers becomes even easier, especially in a Central Banker mirage economy…

Max Read concludes,

“Where does that leave us? I’m not sure the solution is to seek out some pre-Inversion authenticity — to red-pill ourselves back to “reality.” What’s gone from the internet, after all, isn’t “truth,” but trust: the sense that the people and things we encounter are what they represent themselves to be. Years of metrics-driven growth, lucrative manipulative systems, and unregulated platform marketplaces, have created an environment where it makes more sense to be fake online — to be disingenuous and cynical, to lie and cheat, to misrepresent and distort — than it does to be real. Fixing that would require cultural and political reform in Silicon Valley and around the world, but it’s our only choice. Otherwise we’ll all end up on the bot internet of fake people, fake clicks, fake sites, and fake computers, where the only real thing is the ads.”

The Truth is that humans have to change.

We, must admit that our Great, Grand Institutions Of Government, Education, Media, Silicon Valley and Banking are all fake.

And, so are the leaders of our Great, Grand Institutions.

Eventually, enough of us will become The New Cynics.

Until then, nothing will change.


Thank you for reading and have a Happy New Year!

If you find value in my work, please contribute….

And, As Always, Stay Cynical, My Friends…

Sunday, Scoffs And Smirks: Edition 4

Sunday, Scoffs And Smirks: Edition 2