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A Meeting With The Illuminati...


My immortal lord, for someone of my lowly order, this is all bewildering. I appreciate the delicacies of this evening’s appetizers and, I would like to add, this is a truly marvelous gin and tonic… Oh? It’s never been produced for the rest of humanity? The botanicals are a variety only grown within your garden—

The blonde? The one in the corner? Yes, she is, as you say, my immortal lord, quite exquisite. Oh, no, I’m married… I-I-I can’t, no disrespect… Again, you’ve been very gracious—Brunette? Well, I do prefer brunettes… No, please, you don’t have to accommodate… Well, I hope those ladies have a wonderful evening at their blood sacrifice…

Now, I don’t want to be so bold—

The marble flooring? Yes, again, your immortal lord, impressive. Beyond the descriptors of my feeble mind…How many slaves perished? Oh, my… Just like in your diamond mines, too… Excuse me? My last remark? It was not uttered beneath my breath. Not at all… Again, my vocabulary cannot conceive of the words to praise your aesthetics, so I simply lapsed into some sort of incomprehensible sigh as I attempted to express the diamond inlays of the floor, how your artisans, must have mined all their strength and ability to—

That man in the corner? He’s listening…? He’s what? He’s telepathic? Ah, yes… The chip? The chip that was injected into my hand by your scientific staff prior to this meeting…? It’s surveillance technology…? It’s compiling everything about me? Oh, everyone will eventually be implanted? Ah, well…Yes, I can only hope I am dead by then, my immortal lord, you’re very correct…

Yes, I see your brutish assistant there in the corner, aggravatingly tapping his wrist to signify the passage of time, while simultaneously, I might add, that implant is fidgeting and bulging elastic-like from beneath my skin…which I presume, is indicating my dwindling time…Yes, I apologize for dawdling…

Now, my immortal lord, as you know, I am a distinguished professor, my expertise lauded, my opinion sought, a high ranking official in your most revered fraternal order, but, If I may, without breaching thresholds of decency or of treasonous tones, there appears to be some…well, debate, as to the methods being employed—

No, no, no, my immortal lord, I am very grateful for the riches bestowed upon me…Yes, I’m quite aware that my lineage as had superb privileges. But, for my children, my grandchildren, their own lives, their own opportunities, seem to be stunted, reduced, even fated—

Yes, as I’ve stated, your immortal lord, I am of high fraternal standing, so I am aware of our guiding principles and blueprint for humanity, but—

I apologize for my temerarious tone, your lord—

Immortal lord—

I feel as though our methods are leading to disastrous consequences, that, in our haste to accelerate the timeline, we’ve…unbalanced the dynamic. We seem to be in the midst of a systematic disaster whose—

My practice? Daily, your immortal lord. I meditate daily, observing the tenets without fail, but…I am not experiencing a psychic toll. I only wish to convey a sense of miscalculation on our part, how our directives have led to needless turmoil—Yes, again, your immortal lord, I do minimize my intake of television and social media, which, I know is all engineered to incite paranoia, confusion and fear—

Yes, I’ve completed all the updated Harvard leadership modules, my immortal lord. Did I read your leadership manual? Oh, many years ago, and I profess—You have issued a revised edition? Chapters on alien genetics and the royal bloodlines—

Ah, I have not spoken to Mr. Jones recently, but he is a brother in my region and I will indeed chide Alex upon our next meeting…

Now, my immortal lord, without being unseemly and cavalier, I do indeed understand the blueprint, the path, the decisions that must be made to bring us, the chosen, into accession, but, my son recently approached me with the misgivings of his chosen career. He is, as you know, not within our realm, he has remained independent, but he’s a successful hedge funder. He founded a fine boutique firm that oversees the fortunes of many of our brethren, but, he confided to me how despairing it has all become, this incessant accumulation of wealth, as he put it—

Yes, your immortal lord, I’m well aware that money, as it pertains to the masses, is simply a device of control, but, for my son, and there are many more like him, he’s become…disillusioned with this world we’ve devised. He sees how infinitely cyclical it is: the wars, the social issues, the trivial, intellectually demeaning entertainment, our internecine politics, all of it—

Why has my son not been initiated? Well, he was, for most of his youth, incorrigible. Rebellious, a freethinker, if you will, my immortal lord. He was continually restless and unsatisfied by—

I understand. The contrarians are typically banished, diminished—

I’m not questioning the orthodoxy, only expressing—

Yes, I understand that this act of insolence will be placed in my file… I forfeit all further grievances… I understand, your immortal lord—

Your assistant…? He will escort me out—

Not out? To where? Oh, my immortal lord, like I previously stated, I must decline your gracious offer… Yes, she is very beautiful… The new Marilyn Monroe…? Well, I hope she has a wonderful career—

My immortal lord, I’ve never faltered on my marriage vows—My wife…? She hasn’t either…How do I know? Well—

That lovely young girl is my punishment…? My immortal lord, your assistant’s grip upon my shoulder is very—

I understand, my immortal lord… Yes, I will fulfill your wishes. Yes, good evening… E pluribus unum, to you as well, my immortal lord… 

My lady, do you wish to take this reluctant, old man’s arm?

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