Hollywood - Responding to criticism from angry
fans, at the planned broadcasting of reruns of the their
hit comedy, "Ally McBeal", FOX spokesman
denied suggestions that it was due to the recent
"ratings sweeps" having passed. In a statement
read to reporters in a news conference at their studios,
it was revealed that the true cause of the delay, had
been the absence of cast member Lucy Liu, who
portrays "Ling" on the program. Liu had
planned a short trip to visit her parents in their
native China, when apparently customs officials at Hai
Chang, International Airport, insisted she surrender a
half eaten cheese sandwich they discovered in her
baggage. Having been informed of the policies concerning
the import of foreign food products, and how she had
been in violation of the policy, Liu reportedly erupted
in anger, shouting, "Listen you beady-eyed little Hun!
I'm an American, now step aside!". Liu, who had
just recently clashed with American police, found
herself once again at odds with authorities, though this
time, with officers that possessed considerably less
patience. Within one hour, after being whisked away in
restraints, the actress was brought before a local
magistrate, who after learning the details of the events
that transpired, sentenced Liu to the punishment of her
choice: caning, or three weeks labor in a local
government operated so-called "sweat shop".
Reporters were told, that for the past 2 weeks, Liu had
been forced to labor in a compact disc manufacturing
facility, where in an ironic twist, she was reported to
have, to date, shrink wrapped approximately 8000 Vonda
Sheppard: "Ally McBeal" Soundtrack CD's. Spokesmen for FOX attempted to reassure fans, that Liu was set to complete her sentence within the week, and would be returning to the United States, at which time filming for the show would once again commence. Surprisingly, Liu was able to visit with her mother and 9 sisters, who are also employed at the plant, and was able to present her family with a check for $350 dollars, with a promise to send more as soon as she was able to secure it. "We very proud of she", said Mrs. Liu speaking of her daughter, "She make so little money in America, but still send to us what she can. She good girl"