No
Hard Feelings
Hollywood – Finding themselves bombarded by the tremendous
amounts of mail from angry viewers, FOX officials held a press conference
today, to explain the long delay in the airing of new episodes of their hit
comedy “Ally McBeal”. As the entire cast stood by, FOX spokesman, Ben Delphy
took the podium:
“Good morning ladies and gentlemen. We have
decided to hold this press conference to address the issues involving the
absence of new episodes of our show. We are aware of the many rumors floating
about, and won’t comment on any of them since we consider them only that;
rumors.
Jane
would like to make her apologies to all members of the crew, most of all to
John, our wardrobe director, and to express her intention to pay for the entire
course of his antibiotic treatments.
Gil
would like to apologize to all the cast, crew, and fans for rendering them
unconscious during the scenes in which he appeared. He also wishes to assure
everyone, that he is presently seeking therapy for his “boredom syndrome”, and
is hopeful a cure will be found for his dullness.
Finally,
I received a letter last week from the editor in chief of The Daily Cynic,
which I felt would be appropriate to include today, in which he, while
expressing no regret for the publishing of any of the articles pertaining to
our production and cast, did however, wish to inform Portia that she should
go on without him, as he believes he may have found, in his words, “A woman yet lovelier than
her, with all the charm of an Audrey Hepburn…and more. Plus she can spell her
own name”
Delphy went on to say, that with the reconciliation complete, and the actors once again on speaking terms, the show would soon resume it's course.