FOX Comedy Drives Men to Drink
FOX Comedy Drives Men to Drink
Chicago - Bar's, VFW's, and bowling allys across the nation, reported capacity crowds
tonight, as "Ally McBeal" co-star, Gil Bellows, who portrays the character
"Billy", confessed to on-screen wife "Georgia", played by Courtney
Thorne-Smith, that he had kissed an old girlfriend, and that it had been weighing heavily
on his mind. Apparently, minutes after the revelation, men across America were seen
hurriedly reaching for their coats, and rushing for the door, in an apparent attempt to
escape an almost certain inquisition from their wives at the conclusion of the episode.
Bob Jameson, of Butte Montana, spoke from "Rocky's Booze n' Bowl
Emporium" commenting, "The show was about three quarters way through, and I knew
I only had about 15 minutes to get to the car before it was over". Mr. Jameson's
prediction proved to be accurate, when at precisely 9:00PM, EST, the deafening scream of
cellular phones could be heard inside the busy bowling ally. While appearing shaken, the
patrons were confident they would be able to "ride out the storm" until the
following Monday, when their wives would be once again distracted, allowing them to slip
back inside their homes undetected. Proprietor, Rocky Perez, assured the men they could
remain as long as necessary, stating, "We got a few cots in the back room, and I'm
sure if we ration the beer, we can hold out till next week" In addition, police women
across the nation, reported receiving hundreds of missing person calls shortly after the
program concluded, adding, "We are doing the best we can with the limited staff we
have on duty".
In a related story, Playboy magazine announced this evening, that Gil Bellows
would be featured this month in their "Stupidest Men On Television" piece,
joining the ranks of past actors profiled, such as Bob Denver, star of the sixties comedy,
"Gilligan's Island"