Los Angeles – Authorities announced this evening the shocking details of the apparent suicide attempt of David E. Kelley, writer and producer of the FOX comedy program "Ally McBeal" Sometime shortly after the program concluded this evening, friends of Kelley discovered the creator of the hit show sprawled before a television set in the living room of his Los Angeles home. Paramedics arriving on the scene moments later described Kelley as having had multiple self-inflicted stab wounds,  produced apparently from the 5-inch ball point pen used to write the show. Based on the contents of the suicide note, authorities determined that shortly after the program ended, Kelley, distraught over the lack of quality in the unremarkable episode, decided to end his life rather than face the certain criticism it would generate. Ironically, the entire contents of the note may never be known, as investigators reported it to contain the same, uninspiring drivel as the episode which aired earlier this evening. Bill Joiner, of the Los Angeles police department was quoted as saying, "All I can tell you is that compared to the note, tonight’s episode would earn a third Golden Globe Award" Despite the seriousness of his injuries, doctors at the trauma center who treated Kelley, said they expected him to make a full recovery, although concernedly adding they feared it may not have been the last time they would see him.