Ally McBeal Makes Television History

Los Angeles - Representatives from the "Museum Of Television And Radio" announced today that a landmark had been reached recently by the FOX comedy "Ally McBeal". For the first time in television history, programming  minutes had been overtaken by commercial advertisements, citing a 48% to 52% ratio in last weeks episode of the hit show. We knew we would eventually get to the top if we continued to work hard, said FOX spokesmen, upon learning of the announcement.
   Companies who purchased airtime during the show, also expressed their satisfaction. Playtex, Procter & Gamble, and Tendasoft, makers of the Cross Your Heart Bra®, Metamucil™, and MaxiPad®, reported record profits, since their association with the program which airs Monday nights on FOX. "We've had to add three shifts since January, and our Maxi Pads w/tabs styles are currently on backorder!", said Helen Frost of Tendasoft.
   Not all advertisers that purchased time were as enthusiastic however, as Butch Norman, of Bass Fisherman Magazine, was quoted as saying, "We spent a bundle, and so far only sold three subscriptions" Other less than pleased with the results were, the drug manufacturer Phiser, maker of the impotency drug, Viagra, which claimed far better results in a campaign which aired during the run of the failed comedy "George And Leo".
   FOX insisted their dominance in commercial programming would only grow, as they revealed plans to conduct a trial of their new "EmbedAnAd" technology during the shows third season, which would involve reducing the program 1/4 size in the upper right of the screen to allow for slideshow style ads, and a commercial "ticker" which would run across the bottom of viewer's sets. Asked if they feared this approach would drive viewers from the show, Harold Banks of FOX, replied, "We're not worried at all. They're not going anywhere. They can't wait to see what stupid thing Gil Bellows does next"