DeRossi Assaulted By Anonymous Fan

Hollywood - "Things got a little crazy", was the quote this morning from Sam Nisser, cameraman for the FOX comedy program, "Ally McBeal", as emergency crews could be seen rushing to studio 12, where the cast of the hit show were preparing for the day's filming. Reporters scrambled to gain access to the building, where witnesses reported a member of the cast was being assisted by fire officials on the scene. According to sources close to the Cynic, the excitement apparently centered around Portia DeRossi, who portrays "Nelle" on the show. Witnesses revealed, while waiting for the days taping to begin, DeRossi and star of the show Calista Flockhart, had engaged in a game of catch on the set, with baseball gloves Flockhart had brought to the studio. After a poor throw by Flockhart, DeRossi, while attempting to retrieve the ball, which had come to rest directly behind a seven-horsepower industrial fan used to cool the set, had apparently allowed her hair to become entangled in the spindle of the appliance.  Jerry Answell, set coordinator described the actresses mishap. "Well, when I got there, her face was like, pinned against the grill of the thing, and her hair was all coiled around the motor kinda like when you run over a piece of rope with your lawn mower, you know?" Co-star, Peter MacNicol, who was receiving instruction from Pan Flute expert "Zamphir", for a scene in which he was to play the instrument, rushed to DeRossi's aid, but was unable to free the hysterical actress. Soon after, rescue personnel desperately tried to free DeRossi, and after approximately ten minutes, managed to do so, though they were forced to cut the stars blonde mane two inches above the scalp. Flockhart, who had accompanied DeRossi on an excursion into the Australian Outback weeks earlier, and who had suffered a terrifying ordeal herself, involving a pack of wild Dingos, seemed unaffected by DeRossi's predicament, saying only, "Sorry! My Fault!" Zamphir, who claimed to have sold 3 million records worldwide, (though it is not clear as to which planet he was referring) decided to cancel MacNicol's lesson, claiming the actor would be too distracted by the incident to continue.